woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
