So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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