porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
