Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish I only lived at night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
