It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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