You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
