That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
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Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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