Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
