so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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