Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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