he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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