So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
