when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
