i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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