I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
