i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They took my balls.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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