that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
