Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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