So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
