the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
