Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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