What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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