My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
