you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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