remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nicole vs. Life
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
