Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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