I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
