I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Bring me that man meat
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
