so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
