my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
