is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize