I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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