Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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