oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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