i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
