Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
