grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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