also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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