I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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