i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
