Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
