What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
