the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize