these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize