meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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