god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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