Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
