I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
