dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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