Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize