Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
