I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
