accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
