i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
