There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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