Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
