we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
