you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
