If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
