after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
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At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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