I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
