just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize