I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
