So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
